My submission for HBO’s I’m too poor for Noble Map Pack

Here goes nothing (Enjoy 🙂 ):

Well you see there I was walking down this long metal corridor holding everything I owned and all of my monetary wealth in this large sack. After going down this winding path for a while I decided to take a random left. I took this left for a few reasons: I was bored of walking straight, there were explosions and alarms going off around me, and there were these weird brownish balloon shaped creatures skittering around the floors. I end up following this path for what feels like a mile until I come to this dead end. Great. But there was this weird creature about 4 feet tall and had this environment suit on that had a point about a foot above his head. He kept grunting and talking about this food nipple. Now I was feeling rather parched and famished so I made a deal with him. We would both meet outside the vessel about a 1.5 to 2 miles away. He offered to even take my bag for me as long as I paid for most of the food. I said yes and he agreed, well grunted a bit I think that was him agreeing. Anyway I leave the bag and begin running back the way I came.

When I get back to the main path this big cat like vehicle comes racing up. I take a risk and run to the other side of the path. I jump and land holding on to the passenger side of the car. There is this giant green man with a gold visor driving. I don’t know who taught him to drive but damn. HE HIT SO MANY OF THOSE BROWN THINGS! (I’ll skip a few boring parts) We get to the end of the drivable area and he begins running towards this ship. SHIT BE BLOWING UP EVERYWHERE. He gets to the ship, and DOESN’T WAIT for me, he just takes off. Good riddance, I still need to find that grunt.

I jump out of the bay window, and sprint towards this person I see in the distance, I think it’s that grunting thing. I get there and the DAMN CREATURE isn’t there, instead I see this sergeant and this tall alien like creature with backward knee-caps having a love in. What. The. Hell.

Next thing I know the vessel explodes and I never see that grunt again. I get knocked out and when I come to everyone and everything is gone. Now I’m floating through space on a random piece of land and have no idea where all my stuff is.

TL;DR: Got swindled by a grunting thing promising everlasting sustenance from a nipple of food, he takes my stuff, never returns it, disappears and a ship detonates sending me careening through space.

This is why you should select me for the noble map pack. What else do I have to do? I’ll just be floating over here, through space, alone.